I like to think it a success when the cops are called
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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