i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Shitshow foam night was such a success
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
