If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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