Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
