I bet he comes in French.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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