You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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