Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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