I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
