Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
