come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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