Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
