Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
