just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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