Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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