Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We had sex on a dog bed..
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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