Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
