seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
