I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
