I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
