I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
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I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
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i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
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