is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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