if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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