Sponge bath it is.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
