Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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