roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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