she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm at about main and main street
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
