i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
