i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
