the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
