i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
