bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
