Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
