I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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