Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
