i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
