so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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