Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
