i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
