What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
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