i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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