I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
