is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm sobbing to NWA
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day