Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.