Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.