dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
