would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize