Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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