haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
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