TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
