Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
