I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
