after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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