i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
