I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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