he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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