I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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