wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
