i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
