I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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