She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Green mimosas i think yes
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
