dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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