Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I didn't notice because vodka
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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