Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
