Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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