He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
